When the Communication Becomes Less

When you first walk through the doors of a Spiritualist church, you often come with hope.

You may have lost someone you love, and you come with the expectation that somehow, somewhere, you might hear from them.

You may sit quietly in the service, listening to the medium, hoping to hear those words that will reassure you:

“I’m still here.”

And sometimes, through the work of mediumship, that communication comes.

Perhaps it is a name, a memory, a description, something only you would recognise, or simply that feeling deep inside that tells you, yes, they are still with me.

And perhaps you begin coming regularly.

Maybe, just as importantly, you begin to realise that it wasn't simply by chance that you walked through those doors. Perhaps your loved ones, in their own way, guided you there.

But something can happen as time goes on.

The communications from your loved ones may become less frequent.

And sometimes people wonder why.

Have they gone?

Have they stopped caring?

Have I done something wrong?

No.

Perhaps the very reason they came close in the beginning was to show you something that you needed to know:

“Look at me. I am still alive. I have not died. I have simply left this physical body. I am still me. I am still connected to you. And one day, we will meet again.”

Their purpose was never to keep you standing still in your grief.

It was to help you move through it.

To help you find your feet again.

To encourage you to live your life, to continue your journey, to experience your own soul growth and to discover that the loving bond between you has never been broken.

The communication may become less because you no longer need the constant reassurance that you once did.

But that doesn't mean the connection has disappeared.

It means something has changed.

And perhaps this is where the Spiritualist church becomes something much more than somewhere we go hoping to hear from our loved ones.

Because there is so much more.

There is philosophy.

There is inspiration.

There is education.

There is friendship.

There is support.

There is somewhere to come each week, to sit among people who understand something of the journey you are travelling.

The words spoken from a platform can sometimes lift us when we are struggling. They can make us think differently. They can challenge us, inspire us and help us understand more about ourselves, our lives and what Spiritualism has to offer.

And who knows where that journey may eventually lead?

I know where it led me.

I came through the doors because I wanted to understand more.

And eventually, I found myself becoming a medium.

I discovered that I could perhaps become a bridge between two worlds and help somebody else experience the very thing that had once helped me.

And that is where I believe something beautiful happens.

We begin by coming to receive.

But perhaps, in time, we discover that we can also give.

A Spiritualist church is not simply the medium standing on the platform.

It is every single person who helps keep those doors open.

It is the person who makes the tea.

The person who cleans the church.

The person who puts out the chairs.

The person who puts up the posters.

The person who prepares the hymn books.

The person who welcomes somebody through the door for the first time.

The committee member.

The president.

The treasurer.

The volunteer.

The medium.

The person who quietly turns up every week and does whatever needs doing.

Every one of them plays a part.

Because without all those people, there is no church.

And sometimes we may never know just how important that work is.

A divine service or an evening of mediumship might appear to be simply another service in the church calendar.

But there may be someone sitting in that congregation who desperately needed to hear something that evening.

Someone who was wondering whether they could carry on.

Someone who needed a little hope.

Someone who needed to feel that they weren't alone.

And that is why every person matters.

So if you have found comfort, friendship, understanding or spiritual upliftment through your Spiritualist church, perhaps there comes a time when we have to ask ourselves:

What can I give back?

Our churches need people.

They need members.

They need volunteers.

They need people willing to join committees, help organise events, make the tea, clean, welcome others, put out chairs, raise awareness and simply be there.

Not everyone is meant to stand on a platform.

Not everyone is meant to become a medium.

But everyone has something they can contribute.

Because the church that helped you when you needed it may one day be the church that helps somebody else.

And we have a responsibility to make sure those doors remain open.

We cannot always be the person receiving.

Sometimes we have to become the person who helps make it possible for someone else to receive.

So never underestimate your place within a Spiritualist church.

Never think that what you do is too small to matter.

The person making the tea matters.

The person putting out the chairs matters.

The person cleaning the church matters.

The person putting up the poster matters.

The committee matters.

The medium matters.

You matter.

Because together, all those seemingly small acts become something much bigger.

They become a Spiritualist church.

A place where people can come seeking their loved ones.

A place where grief can begin to heal.

A place where philosophy can inspire.

A place where friendships can grow.

A place where people can discover more about themselves.

And perhaps, just perhaps, a place where someone who once came through the doors needing help eventually finds themselves helping to hold those very same doors open for the person who comes after them.

That is how we keep Spiritualism alive.

Not just by receiving what it has to offer, but by becoming part of it.

By giving back.

By volunteering.

By supporting our churches.

And by remembering that sometimes the greatest way to honour what our loved ones have given us is to keep living, keep growing, keep learning — and help another person find their way through the door. See less